Say Love (Lost & Found #2) Page 19

  When my mouth spreads into a grin, Ari rolls her eyes at me. “They have a word for that, you know. It’s called horny. And I have a solution for it, if you’d just let me…”

  “Yea, but I said no.”

  “Why the hell not, Ari?” I ask. I’m aware of how whiny this makes me sound, but I just don’t give a shit anymore.

  Taking notice of it herself, Ari laughs. “Really? You’ve reduced yourself to whining about this now?”

  “Seriously, Ari,” I take a seat across from her on the bed, “imagine if I were to forbid you from having another sandwich, ever again. Let’s say that I amend your contract, listing it as a term, ‘No more Cubanos for Ariana Andrews.’ How would that make you feel?”

  “Stop comparing sex with food, Caleb!”

  “It’s all I know!” I shout back, fresh out of any other ideas.

  “That’s not true, you are a successful human being. You own an entire company, bursting at the seams with beautiful people. You know a lot more than you give yourself credit for.”

  “Just whatever—” I brush that off. “You love your sandwiches. I love sex with you. It was the most erotic moment of my life, watching you—”

  “Watching me,” she cuts me off.

  “Watching you.”

  “Was I sexy?”

  “Yes.”

  A light goes off in Ari’s eyes. “I have an idea.”

  This time, a light goes off in my eyes. “Sex?”

  “No.”

  My face falls when Ari rips the rug out from under me. “Tease.”

  Ari takes me by the hand and leads me to her full-length mirror. “You are the only person I’ve ever been with. In some ways, you know my body better than I do.” She brings my arms around to her front so that I’m hugging her from behind. “Teach me what sexy is supposed to look like without the sex.”

  My face splits with another grin.

  Ari stands up straighter. “What?”

  “I’m your thing.”

  “My thing?”

  “Every model has a thing. You just made me yours.”

  Ari rolls her eyes at me through the mirror.

  “Say it, and I’ll help you,” I bargain with her.

  Deeply annoyed with my smugness, Ari releases a sigh, but she doesn’t come back with a witty remark. She complies because she really has no other choice. “You’re my thing.”

  Do you have any idea how awkward it is to try acting sexy when you haven’t the slightest clue? Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to completely fail at it?

  No? Then you don’t get an opinion.

  Of all the most embarrassing moments in my twenty years of life, today definitely takes the cake.

  I wouldn’t go as far as comparing Stefan to Satan, because he was just doing his job, but he did come awfully close this afternoon.

  You’re harshly criticized anywhere you go. You will always have to answer to someone. No matter who you are, there’s always someone above you, and they’re not always going to love you.

  During my photoshoot, I answered to Stefan. Stefan answers to Lena. Lena answers to Caleb.

  Everyone answers to Caleb.

  Luckily for me, I have a major connection to the boss. He’s my thing, apparently, and he’s offered to help. If he can just nudge me in the general direction, I think I can get it on my own. With practice, of course. It’s obviously not something I can learn overnight.

  “Okay, lesson one?” Caleb’s voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I give him my undivided attention. “Know your strength, because that’ll be your selling point. Do you know what that is?”

  “My ass.”

  I’m quite proud of my ass. I worked very hard for it.

  Caleb untangles his arms from around me, taking a step back to closely examine it. I catch his reflection in the mirror, tilting his head to the side with that heart-stopping smile of his. “You have a great ass, but that wasn’t what I was thinking.”

  “What were you thinking?”

  “Your eyes, Ari.” Caleb finally shifts focus from my ass, circling around to my front to stare directly into them. “The pale blue hue is so clear and pure they almost look silver,” he goes on. “They’re… captivating. They have the power to suck the other person in, making it impossible for them to escape.”

  Direct compliments tend to make me a little uncomfortable, so I shift my weight from one foot to the other at the sound of the one he just paid me.

  Caleb snaps out of his trance, planting both hands over my shoulders. “Stand still, you look awkward when you bounce around like that.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Lesson two, Ari…” he says, and I stare expectantly up at him. “When someone compliments you, own it. Let it feed your confidence. When they criticize you, own it. Let it drive you.”

  “Okay.”

  “Imagine I’m Stefan.” Caleb holds up his hand, shaping his fingers in the form of a make-believe camera. “Give me sexy.” I laugh when he does a horrible imitation of Stefan’s accent.

  “I don’t want to, I’ll feel stupid.”

  Then in his normal accent, he says, “You can do it, Ari. Come on. It’s me.”

  “Promise not to laugh?”

  “Ari, I see this kind of shit all the time. I swear, I won’t laugh. I’m here to help you.” I give Caleb my first take, and he peeks at me from behind his hand. “This isn’t senior picture day, you look too poised.”

  I try another.

  “That’s a little frightening. Relax your eyes.”

  I try it.

  “Okay. Now, you look tired.”

  I try another.

  “No, woman!” Caleb drops his hands, walking back around to stand behind me.

  “I told you already, I can’t do it!” I say, frustrated.

  “Yes, you fucking can, Ari. Stop thinking so much. Get out of your head.” Caleb’s hands pull at the hem of my shirt.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Role-play won’t work if you’re too in your head. Imagine being back at the shoot today, I’m Ken, and the mirror is Stefan.”

  “Who the hell is Ken?”

  “What’s-his-face from the shoot today, the one you were paired with,” he answers.

  “Caleb—” I start to protest when his hands try lifting my shirt again.

  He stops to peek over my shoulder, eyes landing on mine in the mirror. “Just trust me.”

  “I do.”

  “I’m not going to try anything,” he promises. “You can keep your bra on.”

  When I nod, Caleb pulls my shirt over my head and tosses it behind him. My breath catches in my throat when his hand slides over my stomach. “There. See?” He nods toward our reflection, and I do see. “Lesson three: Touch. You’re very responsive to it, I noticed.”

  Yours, I note silently.

  “But don’t go shoving your tits up or anything. Make smooth, natural transitions from one pose to the next.” He takes my hands in his and moves them seductively over different areas of my body, in my hair.

  I should be paying attention, but I’m getting lost in his scent. I shouldn’t let the simple sound of his voice affect me, but my body responds to it so effortlessly. He’s standing so close to me, and I keep leaning back a fraction to feel his hard chest against my back. I’m a drunken fool.

  If Caleb’s touch is key, I’m screwed. How am I supposed to channel this moment for when he isn’t?

  “How am I supposed to do this by myself?”

  “You think of me. I’m your thing, remember?”

  Butterflies. My stomach, where his hand still rests, is full of them. I will never be the same again, not around him. He makes me nervous.

  To avoid providing him with any more pathetic, squeaky answers, I clear my throat softly. “Sure.”

  “Close your eyes.”

  “Why, I thought you hated that?”

  “Just do it,” he orders. With an irritated sigh, I do as I’m told. “Lesson four: Trust yo
ur partner, if you get paired with one. You don’t have to know the guy, or girl, just don’t let that fact distract you.” I nod along. “Focus on my touch.”

  “Your what?”

  Caleb slowly drags his fingertips across my lower back, moving them up my sides then down again.

  “Whoo!” I giggle. “That tickles.”

  Clamping his hands over my hips, Caleb jerks me back. “Focus.” His tone is stern.

  “Okay.”

  Gathering my hair in his hand, Caleb drapes it all over my right shoulder, sending it spilling down the front of my chest.

  Everyone’s got their own sweet spots, that one part of your body that—when touched—drives you crazy. I find mine a bit odd.

  Whenever Caleb’s strong hands come to rest over my stomach, or when he drapes a hand over the base of my neck, it makes me want to pounce on him. Both are a show of possession. Both of which he’s doing now, and it’s making me stupid with lust.

  Leaning into his body, I reach out for him and cradle the back of his head when he turns to nuzzle my ear. “Open your eyes, Ari,” he commands softly, and I do. Eyes hooded, I stare at the picture of us before me, loving the way Caleb looks wrapped around me.

  Lowering his hand from my neck, Caleb brings it to rest over my heart, hammering away violently against his palm. “Do you see the way you glow? The way your body responds to my touch?”

  “Yes,” I whisper, drunk on just the sound of his voice, knowing that his control is slipping further away from him.

  “Remember this moment. Use it.” His hands leave my body, leaving me with a cold empty feeling, and then he holds them up, palms facing me. “Use me.”

  “What?”

  “Take control, guide me to where you want me, and commit my touch to memory for the next time you’re standing in front of Stefan’s lens.”

  When Ari places her hands in mine, I let her take complete control. I watch her watching me, watching us, as she guides my hand toward her face, trailing my thumb over her lips. Her mouth curls softly into a smile when I playfully pinch her bottom lip.

  Trying with everything I have not to cross the line, I touch my lips to the side of her neck, letting out a tortured groan when she presses a kiss against the center of my thumb before trailing it slowly down her chest, then over the swell of her breast.

  I promised her I wouldn’t try anything. But it isn’t just my willpower dwindling here. I feel her heart racing, pounding against the palm of my hand. I notice the way her body rubs against mine, bringing my arms tighter around her, wanting me to hold her.

  This is starting to feel a lot less like role-play and more like foreplay, the cruelest kind. Foreplay usually has a happy ending, but I know I won’t be getting one. Doing this was a bad idea. Whose was it? Mine, I think.

  I try to put the idea of throwing Ari onto the bed behind us out of my mind. Then Ari moves my other hand down to the waist of her shorts, and I am now hanging by a thread.

  Touching my forehead to the back of her head, I breathe her in. “Ari…” Her name falls hoarsely from my lips.

  “Yea?”

  “Turn around. Look at me.”

  I lift my head back up when she turns in my arms. She intercepts me by the wrist when I bring my hand up to her face.

  “Let me touch you.”

  When she shakes her head, I actually feel my heart sink.

  “Please. I’m losing my fucking mind here.” I drop my forehead to hers, and I lean in halfway, hoping she’ll come the rest of the way to me.

  With a hand pushing against my chest, Ari walks me back. Then she shoves me down onto her bed.

  “Oh, thank fuck!” I exclaim when Ari steps out of her shorts and swings her leg over to straddle me.

  My hands spread in all directions over her body, and I have her free of her bra before she’s even settled on my lap.

  “God, Ari…”

  “Shut up, Caleb.” Ari shifts to stand on her knees, and I nip at her nipple. “Ow!” She smacks her hands against my shoulders.

  I swing her around, pinning her under me on the bed. “Don’t hit me.”

  “Don’t bite me!”

  “You’re the one who shoved your nipple in my face. I got too excited.”

  “Freak.”

  “Prude,” I counter.

  “Whore.”

  “Tease.”

  “How can I be both a prude and a tease?”

  “Because you only pretend to be a prude, fucking tease.”

  Her mouth drops wide open. “I do not—”

  I shut her up, fusing our lips together. She moans into my mouth, and I growl into hers when she fists my hair to force me closer.

  Too impatient to simply slide her panties down, I tear the flimsy fabric from her body.

  “Caleb!” she shouts angrily against my mouth.

  “You have a million more of the same exact ones. Shut the fuck up and kiss me, Ari.” For once, she does as she’s told.

  I feather kisses along her jaw, making sure to get the spot she loves before I trail down her neck, her chest. Ari rewards me with a dick-twitching moan when I swirl my tongue over the nipple I’d bitten seconds ago, gathering fistfuls of my shirt in her hands when I gently suck.

  “Caleb…” Her chest dips inward when breathing my name.

  I’m going to fuck her mean.

  I get halfway down her stomach when I hear the baby cry.

  “NO!” I cry mournfully against her skin.

  “Shit! Sorry.” Ari slides out from under me, and I let her, because what the fuck else am I going to do?

  I stay exactly where I am when she gets off the bed, face buried in her duvet.

  “Are you coming?” she asks.

  “So close…”

  “What?”

  “I’ll be right there. Give me a minute.”

  By the time I come out to join them, Ari is with Ayli in the dining room, watching her try and tackle some mangos on her own.

  “You okay?” she asks.

  “No,” I grumble.

  Ari offers me a small smile when I enter the room, angling her head back when I bend to kiss her on the forehead.

  “What did I ever do to you, huh?” I joke to Ayli, and she just stares innocently up at me from her high chair.

  I take the seat across from Ari’s, settling into it with a sigh.

  I’m entranced by the way Ari interacts with her niece. Our niece, I should say. I feel just as much her uncle as Ari does her aunt.

  As soon as Ari catches me staring, her smile changes; less easygoing and more forced. Before she even says anything, I know that she’s about to set us back. Again.

  “We should talk about what happened.”

  “What happened?”

  “That was a sign,” she says quietly.

  I roll my eyes, redirecting my attention to Ayli. “That’s crap, Ari. I don’t believe in signs.”

  “I do.”

  “So?”

  “You need to find someone else to satisfy your… cravings. I can’t do it.”

  “You can’t, or you won’t?”

  “Does it make a difference?”

  I inhale deeply through my nose when my frustration with her grows. “Why do you keep fighting it—fighting me, Ari? Am I so bad?”

  “You mean too much to all of us, Caleb. We’re being reckless, not to mention selfish.”

  “I don’t care,” I state boldly.

  “I care.” Her tone is just as firm, leaving no room for argument. “How can you say that?”

  “Because, Ari… if I care too much, I can’t have what I want, and what I want is you. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you… on purpose. You know how much you mean to me.”

  “All the more reason to stop this now. It’s not just about you and me, Caleb. A lot of people will get hurt if we mess up…”

  “I won’t mess up!” I snap. “Why are you so convinced that I will?”

  “Because you don’t know the first thing about relat
ionships, you’re not that guy!”

  My head jerks back from the sting of her insult. “What kind of guy am I?”

  Ari turns away from me. Big surprise. She’s avoiding confrontation. She’s vocal about pretty much everything else, but she clams up whenever I want to talk about us.

  “Look at me.”

  “Just leave it alone, Caleb.”

  “What kind of guy am I, Ari?” I ask again.

  She doesn’t answer me. She won’t even look at me.

  All this time, I thought she was just kidding when calling me a whore…

  Now I know what she really thinks of me.

  I get to my feet and head for the door.

  “Where are you going?” she asks when I slip back into my jacket.

  “To satisfy my craving somewhere else.”

  “With who?”

  “Does it matter?” I retort. “I’m a whore, right? I have no standards, really. Just as long as I get what I want, what the hell do I care?”

  My hand is already wrapped around the doorknob when she says, “Don’t twist my words, I never said—”

  “But you did.” I shake my head. “I’ll see you later, kid,” I mutter over my shoulder, slamming the door behind me.

  An entire month has gone by since I last spoke to Caleb. He’s been shutting me out ever since he stormed out of here. I don’t blame him for not wanting to speak to me, but I’d still like a chance for us to move past this.

  If Caleb weren’t so important to this family, or as important of a friend to my brother, then I would jump at the chance. He’s a ton of fun, handsome, hilarious. I’m not crazy, of course I would.

  But I can’t just ignore all the risks that come with me taking that chance. The bad outweighs all the good. I could lose him. We all could. I can’t be the person to blame if and when that happens.

  How long could we possibly go on for? There’s no way in hell we could ever get married, Caleb doesn’t believe in it. I can’t even begin to picture that. Caleb as a husband. Caleb as a father. He isn’t that guy. Truth be told, I’m not that girl, either.

  Caleb was right when he called me out on it. Being dumped sucks. If I don’t do it, he will. Look how well that worked out for Randy and me.