Say Love (Lost & Found #2) Page 21

  The name rings a bell. I remember Caleb talking to him on the phone once. Didn’t really seem like a pleasant call, though.

  “I know that name,” I say, hoping she’ll elaborate.

  “The man’s got more money than God. He’s the fucking monopoly guy.”

  I blink down at her. “Really?”

  “Jackson’s father started off small with Anderson Medical, maintaining and running most of the hospitals in this city. Jackson took that and turned it into Anderson Enterprises, a corporate company. Caleb’s company is partly owned by Anderson Entertainment.”

  “Jesus.”

  Lena shakes her head, blowing smoke away from me again. “So far he’s erected Anderson Entertainment and Anderson Construction. Now, I hear that he’s got big plans for Anderson Technologies. The man is unstoppable. He’s the one who encouraged Caleb to think bigger. The Runway Company started out as Runway Models. Under Jackson’s advisement, Caleb’s created Runway styles and Runway Designs. That’s where I come in.” Lena flashes me a photo-ready grin, making me laugh. “Now, look at me. Stores all over the world carry my clothing. If Caleb didn’t take a chance on me, I might still be trying to get my foot in the fucking door. Like I said, I owe him everything.”

  It’s no wonder we lost touch over the past three years. He’s done so much for himself in that time. Asshole or not, I’ve always respected the man that he was, but after learning all of this, I see him in a whole new light.

  To me, he will always be Caleb, but it’s nice to see how much the rest of the world respects him.

  “Let’s go back inside.” Lena takes me by the hand again, and I let her lead the way. “Speak of the devil… there’s our boy now.” She points him out to me, and I spot him standing at the far side of the room. With a gorgeous redhead, a woman that everyone’s seen before.

  “Wait, isn’t that—?” I point in her direction.

  “The stupid slut from that MTV show no one cares about? Yes.”

  I laugh. “I’m sensing that you don’t like this woman?”

  “She’s a social-climbing harlot. I don’t trust her.”

  “How do you know so much about everyone?”

  Lena shrugs. “That’s my thing. I know things, and I hate everyone.”

  “Well, that’s what I look for in a friend.” I loop my arm through hers, laughing when she hip-checks me.

  “Come on, let’s go save Caleb.” Lena starts dragging me along, but I force us to stop.

  “You go ahead, I don’t think Caleb really wants to see me right now.”

  “What, why?”

  “Long story.”

  “Do tell.” Lena waggles her eyebrows.

  “Another day,” I giggle.

  “Ugh, fine. I’ll be back in two seconds.” Lena weaves through the crowd, and I pull my phone from my clutch to check in on Aryn.

  The phone rings through, which isn’t strange for Aryn. He usually wears his Beats headphones when wired in. I type out a message for him instead, letting him know that I’m fine and was only calling to check on him.

  Someone comes to stand in front of me, casting a shadow over my phone. I look up into the face of a stranger; mid-thirties, shorter than me with a medium build. I smile to be polite.

  “Hello,” he greets friendlily.

  “Hi.”

  The man extends his hand to me. “My name’s Chip, what’s yours?”

  “Ariana.” I take his hand, my smile intact.

  “You have a beautiful smile, Ariana,” he compliments.

  Oh, Lord. Ick!

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m an agent with Marvel Models. Have you ever considered modeling?”

  “Oh, I’m actually with Runway Models, but thank you.”

  “Really? Who represents you?”

  “Caleb—”

  “Me.” Caleb’s voice comes from behind me. “Are you trying to poach my client, Ayres?”

  “I saw a beautiful girl standing alone at a party, and I thought I’d come over to say hi.”

  “She’s not alone,” Caleb comes back a little harsher than necessary.

  “Understood.” Chip takes a step back, but not before winking my way. “It was nice meeting you, Ariana.”

  “You, too, Chip.” I offer an apologetic smile before turning to meet Caleb. “Well, that was a little rude.”

  Nothing’s changed since this morning. The look in Caleb’s eyes is just as cold, if not more. “The man’s married, Ari. Also, renowned for sleeping with all his clients.”

  “Ooh, shocker!” I sarcastically remark.

  “I’m not married.”

  “No, of course not.” I roll my eyes, scanning the party for Lena.

  “I was only looking out for you, kid.”

  “Thanks, Caleb, but I can take care of myself. I mean, what the hell are you doing standing here with me anyway? Where’s your date?” I throw air-quotes up around the word.

  “Jealous?” He smirks.

  I knock my head back with a high-pitched guffaw. “You fucking wish!” I walk off before he decides to call me on my potty-mouth for the millionth time.

  When a man, much more handsome than Chip, stops me for a chat, I gladly accept.

  I learn that his name is Eric, and he’s also a model, currently with Marvel Models. I thought I recognized him from somewhere. Eric tells me that he was recently featured in the Calvin Klein men’s underwear campaign.

  Yowza!

  Hitting it off quite well, Eric asks me for my number. Just as I prepare to give it to him, an arm snakes around my waist before lifting me away from him. “It’s 911,” Caleb’s voice comes from behind me, yet again.

  “Caleb let me down!” I shout, drawing the attention of a few curious bystanders.

  Caleb continues to carry me away, setting me down when we’re standing in the middle of a quiet hallway.

  As soon as my feet touch the ground, I whack him hard with my clutch. “What is the matter with you?”

  “Why did you come to LA, Ari?”

  “I already told you this morning that I came to see you. Remember? It was right before you practically kicked me out of your office.”

  “If you came here to see me, then why are you talking to other guys?”

  “Because you made it clear that I wasted this trip on you, you fucking barbarian!” I whack him again, and he doesn’t even try to block the hit.

  “Why did you come to see me?”

  I throw my hands in his direction, balling them into tight fists when I’m tempted to choke the life out of him. “If only I were physically capable, I’d choke you.” I walk away from him, then my feet suddenly leave the floor when Caleb wraps his arm around my waist, lifting and placing me gently back in the spot I was previously in.

  “Answer my question, please. Why did you fly across the country on a whim to see me?”

  I cross my arms over my chest and stubbornly stare back at him without saying a word.

  “Ari.”

  “Caleb,” I parrot, provoking him.

  “Tell me.”

  “I did tell you, but you kicked me out.”

  Finally, I get a glimpse of the Caleb I came here to see. His eyes soften with his guilt when he says, “I was angry.”

  “Now, so am I.”

  “Can you please tell me the reason you’re here? I’m listening.”

  The ice around my heart thaws with his sincerity. “I miss you.” I shrug. “We don’t talk anymore, and it sucks.”

  A regretful look settles in his eyes. “I need time, Ari. Unfortunately, that means staying away from you. I miss you, too. Trust me when I say that this isn’t easy.”

  Finally, an honest conversation. It’s not the best, but at least we’re being civil. Caleb’s request for time stings a little, but I owe him this much.

  “How long?”

  Caleb shrugs. “There’s just no way of knowing that. When I feel like I can look at you without needing you, then I’ll come back.”

&
nbsp; The level of optimism I came to LA with is unrealistic, I know that, but it still sucks. It’s not easy for me to be around him, either. I’m not immune to the guy. He’s my first, for that he’ll forever hold a special place in my heart.

  “I’m sorry, Caleb.”

  “For what?”

  “For what I said the last time I saw you. You left before I could tell you what kind of guy you are to me.”

  Interested in what I have to say, Caleb gives me a second shot at the question. “What kind of guy am I, Ari?”

  “The kind I can’t stand to lose, Caleb. The kind I’d never abandon. The kind I cherish. The kind I value. I’m not fighting this because I think you’re a whore, or some horrible human being. I just don’t want to risk breaking what we have, that’s all.” I take a step toward him, bringing a hand up to his cheek. “You’re my best friend, and I’ll always be here. Call me when you’re ready to talk again.” I pat him twice against the chest and walk away.

  This time, he lets me.

  After a long, hot shower, I climb into the bed of my cold, empty hotel room, and I flip the channel to The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. I grab the pillow from the empty spot next to me, wrapping my arms and legs around it to keep me company.

  My phone rings.

  Just when I got comfortable…

  I curse and whine into the pillow, and then I reach over to where my phone is on the nightstand.

  Caleb flashes across my screen.

  “Hello?” I answer, my tone comes funnier than I intended. I just wasn’t expecting a call from him so soon.

  “Hey.”

  “Hi.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “Getting ready to turn in. Why? Everything okay?”

  “Yea, no, everything’s fine.”

  I hold my hand up, eyes turning toward the ceiling as I awkwardly wait him out. “What’s up, Caleb? Are you ready to talk?”

  “I think so.”

  “Great.”

  “Can you open the door?”

  “Open the what?”

  “The door, Ari.”

  “You’re outside my room?” I crawl to the edge of my bed, peeking out, but I, of course, see nothing.

  “Yea.”

  “Um… yea, okay, hold on.” I climb out of bed and hurry toward the door.

  When Caleb greets me with a smile, I wave him inside. “Cute PJs,” he comments on my Superman print shorts and red tank top, passing me to enter the room.

  “Thanks… I think.” I lead the way to the little sitting area of the room, and wave him over to join me.

  Caleb unbuttons the front of his jacket before taking his seat, draping his arm over the back of the couch. He doesn’t speak right away, making it kind of awkward, and I do my best not to fidget too much while waiting him out.

  Unable to go another second without doing something, I bring my legs up, hugging my knees to my chest, and I stare down at my toes.

  “Ari,” he finally starts us off.

  “Yes, I’m listening.”

  “I’ve already said this before, but let me reiterate,” he says. I nod. “You mean more to me than, I think, anything ever has. I don’t trust easy, but I trust you implicitly. I consider your family as my own, so I don’t want to mess all that up, either. Having said that…” He pauses, searching. “Do you honestly think I would do anything to jeopardize all the things we share? Answer me honestly.”

  “Nobody actually means to hurt someone they care about, Caleb. Sometimes…” I toss my hands in the air. “I don’t know, people just mess up.”

  “And you’re convinced that I will? Can you be sure that there is a higher percentage of me fucking this up instead of making us work somehow?”

  “No! Caleb, I never said that.”

  “Then what are you saying?”

  Dejected, I lower my forehead to my knees. “Caleb,” I whisper.

  “Ari, look at me,” he orders softly, and I do. “I would rather run this risk than do absolutely nothing. I will never let us lose everything. Do you hear me? I would never let that happen.”

  “And if this doesn’t work?”

  “We will learn to deal. At least we tried. I think I could be good with that. That is more than good enough for me.”

  Biting into my lip while I consider this insane idea, I ask another impossible question. “What about my brother?”

  “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

  I shake my head, not nearly as confident as Caleb. “I can’t be worth a risk this huge—”

  “Then how come you are?”

  I stare back at him, still nervous, still scared, but a huge part of me is curious, and I want to see this through. “Before I give you an answer, can you do something for me?”

  “Anything, Ari. What?”

  “Tell me about your mother.”

  “My mother? Why?”

  “Because I think it’ll help me understand you a whole lot better.”

  “Uh…” Caleb laughs under his breath, running his hand through his hair.

  “It won’t act as a deal-breaker if you don’t…”

  He shakes his head. Regardless of how uncomfortable he is, Caleb looks determined to try. “No, it’s okay,” he insists.

  “Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.” My mouth tips with a smile when his gaze pulls toward me.

  “Thea, the woman who gave birth to me was no mother. When my father left her for another woman, she… self-medicated to deal with the pain. A glass of wine a night soon turned into two, then an entire bottle in one sitting, and then several bottles throughout the day, until that stopped working to her satisfaction. She then upgraded to hard-liquor, mixed those with other drugs, the list goes on.”

  Tears prick the back of my eyes, and he’s only just begun.

  “Anyway, she… forgot about me a lot of the time. I was only three, so it wasn’t like I could just get up and make myself food when I was hungry, kids count on their mothers to do that. A lot of the time, she’d forget to go grocery shopping, so for a while, it was dry cereal, pop tarts, and other junk food we had lying around the house. Some days, she’d remember to shop. On good days, she’d bring me a Happy Meal. On bad days, I remember crying from being so hungry, and then I’d get my ass whooped for it.”

  “There was a kid that lived next door, and his parents would sometimes invite me over to play, so I’d end up eating over there. Then, one day, Thea got so drunk out of her mind that she picked a fight with the kid’s mom, accusing her of trying to prove herself better than her, or some stupid shit like that. So, that ended.”

  “When she’d decided that she had enough of me, she packed my things into a garbage bag, and then she dropped me off at my aunt Tara’s house. My aunt tried to talk her out of it, said that she needed to get her shit together, for my sake. Thea left anyway, didn’t even take a second glance back at me. I ran after the car until it disappeared around the corner. I cried for her to come back, but she never did.”

  “Thea was a shitty mother, but she was still my mom, you know, of course I loved her. I didn’t know any better. We’re wired to love our parents through their mistakes, no matter how big or small.”

  “Opening up to Tara wasn’t easy. I barely knew her. I met her only a handful of times because she and Thea never got along too well. But she was the polar opposite of her sister. She was kind, she was generous, and she was caring. She rocked and sang me to sleep on nights I woke up from a bad dream. She held my hand and walked me to school on my first day of pre-school, and for every year after that. Then she got sick.”

  “Tara made arrangements for me to stay with her kid brother, Ryan, after she passed. He was only in his early twenties at the time, fresh out of college, and I’d just turned eight. It was nice to be around a guy for a change, I loved living with him.”

  “About a year and a half into my life with Ryan, he and his girlfriend had gotten real serious, then he decided to pop the life-changing question.
She didn’t accept right away, said that she couldn’t start a life with a man raising someone else’s child.”

  “Ryan was faced with two choices. He could’ve decided to keep me and lose the woman he loved, or he could’ve given me up to start a new life with her. He gave me up.”

  “I was ten years old when I was dumped off at a group home. No one wants to adopt big kids; they want babies. So, I ended up staying there for a while. I was sure I wouldn’t get adopted, that I’d eventually grow out of the system.”

  “As time passed, I’d grown angrier about the shitty hand I was dealt, fully convinced that I was some irreversible curse. About two years later, just as I was losing all hope, Lucille and Cameron found me. They always wanted kids, but Lucille couldn’t have any, and she didn’t want to watch another woman carry her baby, so they settled on adoption. Up until then, I’d been given up, passed off, and then given up again. But Lucille and Cameron chose me, a twelve-year-old boy with more anger inside of him than they should’ve been able to handle. I didn’t get it.”

  “It took me forever to open up to them. I was done trusting people; I didn’t see the point. I was so sure they’d take me right back once they got sick of me. I acted out whenever the littlest things would set me off, punching holes through walls and kicking furniture in. But they were ever so patient and understanding.”

  “One time, I came home from school, pissed out of my mind because some kids were giving me shit about being the weird new kid. When I walked into the home, hurling my backpack across the living room, Cameron called me out to the garage. I was surprised to find it empty. All the cars were moved and parked out on the driveway. Then Cameron set down a box of old dishes and cups and shit that Lucille didn’t want anymore, and he said to me, ‘Dean, I’m having a bad day. Wanna help me let some of it out?’”

  “Demonstrating for me what he’d meant, Cameron threw an old cup against the wall. I just stood there and watched it shatter to pieces, too stunned to say anything. Then he said, ‘It’s okay to get angry. We all do. We’re human. Don’t ever leave it bottled up inside, let it out. Break whatever you want to break, everything is replaceable. But whatever you do, never take it out on the people who love you.’”